Just a refresher – Over the month of January I’ve made it my goal to explore the most popular dating apps out there and blog about my experience using each one. First up was Tinder.
So – What’s to like about Tinder? Well, it’s straightforward. I think physical attraction is necessary to building a successful romantic or sexual relationship with another person. With Tinder, your pictures are the focus of your profile. When I was swiping through the app, I’d decide whether or not a guy interested me based in his first picture. If I wasn’t feeling that picture, I’d swipe him away without a second thought. If I thought his first picture was attractive, I’d look at the other photos on his profile. If I still wasn’t scared away, I’d look at his bio.
Reflecting now, I look at how quickly I dismissed guys when I was using Tinder. It’s immediate rejection based on one look at someone. While I know that looks are something I definitely consider when dating, I realized I’d swiped past guys on Tinder who I’d probably be thrilled to be approached by in person. But, because I wasn’t blown away by a quick glance at their picture, I right-swiped them back into the Tinder-verse.
While I appreciate the fact that Tinder allows me to quickly sort through potential matches based on what they look like, and whether or not I think I’d be attracted to them, I find that the sheer number of profiles you can flip through actually leads to a disconnect from what you’re actually looking for. Of course I want to match with someone I’m attracted to on a dating app. But, in real life, I’m not incredibly picky when it comes to guys’ looks. Other qualities are a lot more important to me – like humour, intelligence, passion, etc. Yet on Tinder, I became so numbed by endless swiping that only very good looking men (probably fake accounts, tbh), got me to pause long enough to look at more of their profile, or swipe right.
So, my major takeaway from my week with Tinder is that it’s more of a game – “hot or not” – than a serious dating app. Elements like the ability to “super-like” someone or buy a paid “Tinder Plus” subscription that lets you access additional features, add to the feeling that Tinder is a game, with winners and losers.
But, I also think that someone who’s aware these flaws about Tinder CAN make the app work for them in a more serious way. Once I realized how shallow I was being on Tinder, I slowed my swiping and took the time to explore the profiles of guys who I thought I could be interested in. I matched with some of these guys, and conversation with them revealed a lot more about our compatibility than a quick look at their first picture did. If I’m being honest, I’m pretty excited about some of these matches. So, while my week exploring Tinder for this blog has come to an end, I don’t think I’ll be deleting the app, quite yet…
Verdict: A slippery slope to shallowness. Swipe with caution. If you’re looking for something serious, take your time and keep an open mind. Remember, the unmatch function can and should be utilized.